“I measure every grief I meet with analytic eyes; I wonder if it weighs like mine, or has an easier size.”
Emily Dickinson (1924)

The performance, Grief – A Work in Progress, began with a personal encounter with grief, when my partner died from neuroendocrine cancer. From the moment a loved one is given a terminal diagnosis, through their death and beyond, we suffer a barrage of physical, cognitive and psychological grief reactions.

When we experience loss, the nervous system goes into a stress mode known as “fight or flight”. Higher levels of the peptide hormone and neurotransmitter corticotropin produce anxiety-like symptoms, which in turn increase our heart rate and blood pressure. This leads to over-stimulation of our central nervous system. Sleeping and eating are disturbed as well as our digestion, which can lead to gastrointestinal symptoms, and changes in our metabolism, circulation and respiration. We feel fatigued, experience unusual aches and pains, struggle to concentrate. Grief also makes the blood ‘stickier,’ and more likely to clot. Basal body temperature drops, the immune system is compromised and the heart can become misshapen, making us susceptible to infection and even cardiac arrest.

The performance was as an exploration of physiological and narrative responses to death. It took place at the Southbank Centre during the Belief and Beyond Belief festival in April of 2017, and was performed by a self-selecting group of workshop participants from the first series of the project’s workshops. Showcasing written and spoken word compositions, it incorporated experimental choral and soundscape elements highlighting the physiological dimensions of the grieving process. Structured around the chronological narrative of the terminal diagnosis, death, and aftermath, the piece concluded with participants reading one another’s recollections, as captured in the course of the workshops. The performance is available to watch by request.

* Video documentation of the performance is being shown to medical and palliative care staff in hospitals and hospices, accompanied by a talk by the artist, in order to inform discussion about communication between carers, patients and medical staff. For enquiries please get in touch here.

“We took those little books away with us and I’m showing everybody at work. This is our script.”
Mark D.

“I remember…coming off and just wanting to punch the air… it felt brilliant and that was something that I hadn’t felt for ages and ages so that was a really good feeling which I probably wouldn’t have got from anything else… It was a real elation.”
Jan S.

“I was in a bit of a bad place…it gave me something to…I don’t want to say live for… it gave me a reason to get out of bed… it had quite a bit of meaning for me”.
Kate R.

“It isn’t about his story anymore… it’s about my story of how I feel.”
Elia N.

Belief and Beyond Belief Festival, Southbank Centre, 05.03.2017

Performers: Kate Rowlandson, Elia Ntaousani, Jan Soulsby, Matt Robinson, Mark Dumbrell, Sarah McLean, Megan Clifton, Hannah Davies.

Writer, co-director and performer – Zoe Papadopoulou
Director and vocal arrangements – Deborah Coughlin
Sound design and arrangement – Tim Olden
Live sampling – Matthew Olden.

With thanks to: Ruth Hardie and Paul Watson – Southbank Centre, Dr Erin Hope Thompson – The Loss Foundation , Lynda Thomas – Macmillan Cancer Care, Alice Carey – Wellcome Trust, Lois Anderson – Islington Letter Carving Studio, Ben Hardwick – B&A London.